Archive for the ‘Personal Growth’ Category

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Team Hoyt

Saturday, November 5th, 2022

team_hoyt.jpg

In the Men’s Fraternity video shown at our meeting this morning, the topic was “What Every Dad Needs to Know”. A music video was included at the end that featured Rick & Dick Hoyt, a father/son team that has competed in marathons and triathalons across the country. Yes, it’s a team effort, and a very unique team in that Rick is unable to walk or talk; Dick, his dad, pushes him in a cart, pulls him in a rubber raft, and carries him in a seat on the front of his bike in every race.

The video can be seen on YouTube; it’s very inspiring and touching. In our Men’s Frat group there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. You have got to watch the video, and read the story of Team Hoyt. You will be touched. Guaranteed.

UPDATE: I first posted this on November 9, 2007; a few moments ago I learned that Dick Hoyt passed away on November 2, 2022. Rest in Peace, sir. 

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Heavenly Envy

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

I went to a funeral for friend this afternoon. He died at age 55. A month or so ago I attended the funeral for a guy I hung out with in high school; he died at 50. I still feel like I’m too young to be burying people that are close to my own age, but I guess it’s a natural part of life. Our bodies aren’t meant to last forever, at least not our earthly bodies. Our heavenly bodies… Now that’s another story altogether.

I don’t know when it started, and I don’t know if I’m the only one with this problem, but at funerals I often catch myself being slightly envious of the one who has passed away… That should probably be qualified a bit more; envious of fellow Christians who have passed away. Envious because I know (if only just a little) the glory they enjoy after leaving this life behind. Meanwhile I’m still stuck in this aging old tent. Our bodies, like tents, aren’t made to last for ever nor for long-term habitation. Try as I might, mine will only last another 40 years or so longer, tops (probably less.) But I have consolation that as this body moves toward its end, a new life is developing that will one day be fully realized in the presence of my Lord:

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Although I am admittedly anxious to get to that celebration, I have no intention of hastening my date with eternity. I am content with God’s plan for my life, whether His exit plan for me involves a fatal run-in with a cement truck tomorrow, or a long convalescence through my 70’s or 80’s or 90’s… I’ll live the rest of my days in gratitude for the blessings He’s sent my way, especially for the loving wife and great kids that I so don’t deserve.

But still there’s that, something… that envy that makes me long for the things to come. It’s a hope for things to come; not a hope, as in “I hope it will happen”, but a hope as in something that is sure, yet is just out of reach and will arrive at a time I don’t know. As C.S. Lewis so aptly put it,

We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we wanted before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. While we are, this is. If we lose this, we lose all.

That’s right; while I am, this — that built-in longing for what has been promised and will be — just is. I can’t wait for Heaven, but I will.

Posted in Faith & Worship, Personal Growth, The Deep | Comments Closed

Just Another Day

Monday, January 4th, 2010

About this time last year I made a list of No-Year’s Resolutions*, so I thought this might be as good a time as any to review how I did on them.
* In case anybody missed the intended sarcasm, my No-Years Resolutions were an attempt at reverse psychologizing myself into actually improving instead of… well, the opposite.

My first one was to Gain weight. I’m thinking at least 40 pounds. Just more of me to love, right? I’d have to say I failed at this one, which is good; pretty much kept my head above water is all. I haven’t weighed in for a few weeks, but last time I checked I was still tipping the scale at about 235 or so, which is about where I was this time last year. The problem is that even though 235 isn’t ‘morbidly obese’ or anything, it’s still about 50lbs heavier than what I weighed when we were married, and it sure ain’t 50lbs of muscle. I get tired just thinking of hauling that much extra weight around wherever I go. Will 2010 be the year I finally hack off that spare tire? I sure hope so, and I’ll be giving it some concerted effort.

Next up, Not even think about exercising. I’d resolve to quit exercising, but I can’t very well stop if I’m not doing it in the first place. Total waste of time. Well, I thought about it, and did some, but nowhere near a regular exercise regime. Still need to work on this one. P90x? Maybe. Or maybe just haul my butt out of the recliner & get on the treadmill on a regular basis.

As for the Read less, and I’ll hide my Bible. Quiet time? Devotions? Spiritual disciplines? Who needs them? item, I’d have to say it was a draw. My Bible reading time & spiritual discipline has been at about the same low level for several years now. Not a good thing.

Watch more TV. I might even break down and get cable. From what people at work talk about, I’ve been missing some good stuff. Success here, I think. But that’s probably more an issue of not keeping track of my tube time. I didn’t buy cable, but I did break down & buy the digital converter box so the TV would at least continue to work. That’s given us a little more TV content to choose from, but I still end up kicking myself for staying up too late watching stoopid TV shows. Like My Name Is Earl… A little self-control? Please?

Procrastinate more. Then again, maybe I’ll wait & do that next year. I am happy to report that I don’t procrastinate any more. I don’t do it any less either, so I think it’s a draw on this one too. Or… heck; I’ll finish this one later.

Another failure; Take up a new habit: Maybe drinking. And smoking would be good too. And as long as I’m at it, I’ll start hitting the casinos. No smoking or gambling, but I did break down & buy a 4-pack of Guinness a while back, and paid a visit to Monks in October, but I’m not exactly a closet alcoholic.

An abject failure on this one! Spend more time at work. In 2009 I got five weeks of vacation time at work, and as of the last paycheck I had about 90 hours of PTO left until my anniversary in April. If I work it right, I may not even have any time left to cash out when this year’s allotment is rolled out!

Fail! Spend less time with the wife & kids. That only deepen any emotional attachment to them, which interferes with #7. I can say that I have spent more time with the family, and it has been good.

Well, this one could probably be considered something of a success; Take a vacation to someplace important: like to see the largest ball of twine. The only ‘vacation’ we took was to Kentucky to see Bryce’s graduation from Basic Training. We spent a little extra time there and visited Mammoth Cave, the Abraham Lincoln Birthplace Memorial, and the Coca-Cola Memorabilia Museum; none of which measure up (down?) to the largest ball of twine, but weren’t really high on the excitement meter. Yvonne pulled a week in Peru on a medical mission trip last summer, and plans to go back later this month, but I just hung out with the boys that week.

coke_museum

This one was another failure; Stop going home for lunch or bringing a sack lunch to work: We all need to do our part for stimulating the economy, and fast food restaurants play an important role in that, right? I didn’t keep count, but I know I spent a lot less money on fast food lunches in 2009.

And another failure; Quit giving money & time to charity. It’s time to let someone else develop character in that way. Gave way more to charity this year, plus I added a volunteer gig to hosting & maintaining the website for Groove Inc., even though Ian decided he didn’t want to participate in Groove at all this year. Oh well, they can use the help.

This one might be considered something of a success; hit the mark in a way… Sell my car and buy a mid-’70’s Camaro or Monte Carlo with a really loud stereo system, mag wheels, air shocks and wide tires in back. I’ll also need to grow a mullet to complete the image. No mullet, but I did manage to buy not one but two ’80-something BMWs. Neither has an impressive stereo system nor mag wheels, but both do have alloy wheels, and the latter one has some pretty wide tires all around. The problem is that the earlier one had a lot of issues and needed a lot of work (and still does) which kept me from getting around to some home improvement projects… If I had it to do over again I’d probably have held out for an e28 in better shape, but I really like these cars, in spite of the little niggling problems with them! Did I say ‘no mullet’?

Fail. Shower and change clothes once a week, whether I need it or not. A guy has to do his part to to reduce water usage. In fact our household is using more water than ever, since Caleb reached the age where a daily shower is pretty much a necessity for the health and well being of those around him.

Fail here too. Cash out my 401k accounts. The markets are going nowhere fast, and just think of the fun I could have with all that money. Although I was sorely tempted to do just that on a number of occasions, and still think it might be a good idea. Not to have fun with the money, but maybe to use it to pay off our mortgage and invest in something that might actually appreciate and not be available for the Washington bureaucrats to eventually seize to bankroll Social Security, Medicare and the mess they’ll end up making with their health insurance reform legislation.

Success on this one I’m afraid. Stay up later still every night. Think of all the late-night TV and web browsing I can get done instead of sleeping. Most days at work I feel like I’m spinning wheels anyway, so showing up half asleep shouldn’t affect a thing productivity-wise. It’s not uncommon to find me dragging myself to bed between 1-2am, then back up at 6:15 to get a head start on getting the boys up for school. Part of the problem though is that if I go to bed earlier I end up getting up earlier, without much gain in sleep time. Not sure if what I have constitutes a sleep disorder or what… Maybe time to retire our 24 year old mattress and get something that won’t have me waking up with aching shoulders & hips multiple times a night.

So there it is. I can’t say the reverse psychology worked, but at least it was at least different (if not better) than the typical “I resolve to do better” type list. I could probably keep the same list for 2010 (is that “twenty-ten” or “two-thousand-ten”?) since I still have some work to do. Hmmm… Maybe I’ll decide on that later.

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The Cicada Killer Wasp

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

For the last few summers we’ve had some scary looking bugs in our yard. Thankfully, they’re just scary looking, and nothing to really be afraid of, provided you’re not a cicada.


A female cicada killer wasp in flight, approaching a prospective nest site.

The lifecycle of the cicada killer wasp sounds like something out of a Ridley Scott movie… The female cicada killer wasp hunts down a cicada and stings it to paralyze it. When the cicada is safely immobilized, the wasp carries the cicada back to its burrow — a hole dug in loose soil. The cicada is placed in a dead-end chamber of the burrow; the female then lays a single egg (sometimes two) on the still paralyzed but very much alive cicada, and seals up the chamber. When the egg hatches, the larva gnaws through the exoskeleton of the cicada and feeds on its internal organs, saving the nervous system for last so as to maximize the length of time that the cicada remains alive. Gruesome, no?


The same female digging in the loose dirt for a new nest site.

The female cicada wasp killers are very large; up to 2 inches long. I’ve had them buzz by my head a few times and the sound is pretty unnerving if you’re not expecting it. The males are supposedly much smaller, but I can’t say that I’ve seen any.

Very scary looking, but very cool. It’s this kind of thing that makes me really question the theory of evolution. The evolution of physical body parts is only part of the equation; what about complex behaviors like this? So the larvae that just happened to leave the nervous system for last gained an evolutionary advantage over the others? And how did that “just happened” get passed on to the progeny of those lucky larvae? Nah; not buying it. I wouldn’t need to believe in an omnipotent, omniscient Creator to know that something like that doesn’t happen by chance.

God makes some cool stuff!

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So That’s Why The Internet Is So Disfunctional!

Friday, August 14th, 2009

“By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back,
but the lips of the wise will preserve them” – Prov. 14:3

I was reading from Proverbs this morning, and that verse made me think… that first line explains in part why discussion forums on the Internet don’t work very well. When I was a kid in school, if someone lipped off, said something stupid, there were consequences. If what was said was stupid enough, or the kid was just a little obnoxious but persistently so, the consequences often involved a good beatin’; the proverbial “rod for his back”.

Even in adult life, when people are talking face to face they tend to be more civil than the discourse you usually find on the Internet. People tend to be incredibly rude in what they write in comments on blogs, on YouTube, in discussion forums, emailed correspondence, etc… On the Internet, there is a level of anonymity and an unnatural buffer between the ‘speaker’ and the ‘hearer’ that makes people say things they wouldn’t necessarily say in person. It’s a lot harder to be a jerk when you can see your victim’s reaction, or be subject to their temper.

I’d like to think that I’m above that. That I’d not say anything here or in a forum or in an email that I wouldn’t say to someone face to face, but I know I have. And once it’s out there it’s difficult if not impossible to retract. So I guess the solution is to be more self-disciplined in what I write and say, no matter whether I’m online or sitting across the table from you.

Now, how do I get that message across to the rest of the Internet?

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What Are The Chances…

Saturday, August 1st, 2009

Had a weird one happen yesterday…

Caleb & I drove up to the Twin Cities to go to the Mall of America & goof around a bit. Actually, the Mall thing was more of a secondary excuse for going there, as I’d arranged to buy some needed BMW parts from a guy in St. Paul who was parting out a 528e. But we had a great time at the theme park inside the mall, so it was a great excuse to get us up there!

Anyway, when we finally got to the mall, found a parking spot and walked into the building, we bumped into my niece Kelsey and her mom, my brother’s ex-wife. Wow; what ARE the chances of that happening? For us to be walking in the fourth floor east parking ramp entrance at the same moment that they were walking out the same entrance… It kinda boggles the mind.

We didn’t exactly get to the mall directly… We drove up 35W, and I was looking for signs along the freeway that would tell me which exit to turn off to get to the mall, and didn’t see anything. When I finally decided we’d gone too far north, we were at the University of Minnesota (go Gophers!) Checking the map, I saw that where we were was directly north of the mall (way north, by about 15 miles!), so rather than taking 35W back south, we took the more circuitous route through the city, following Cedar Avenue, which connects directly with Minnesota 77, which passed right by the mall.

That took us to a side of the mall that I hadn’t been to on my previous few visits, and that put us in the east parking ramp, which I guess is a mirror image of the west ramp, which I was originally aiming for. We made a couple of sorties into parking areas only to be frustrated by finding no empty spots. Caleb suggested that we go to the top floor, and I suggested the one just below so we’d be in the shade, so we ended up near the fourth floor. Then we couldn’t find a couple of things in the van and had to hunt around a bit for them. Then we headed into the building for the surprise…

It makes me wonder how things like that come about, and why. All those delays put us in the right place at the right time for something wonderful to happen. I’m a firm believer that there is no such thing as a ‘coincidence’. Things happen because they are allowed to happen and we’re guided to appointments that God has arranged for us. We don’t always know what the purpose of those appointments is, nor should we be consumed by trying to interpret what they’re all about… I just have to sit, slack-jawed in awe of the Master of the Universe who can coordinate things so… beautifully.

That incident reminds me of something minor that happened years ago; I happened to look out the back window of our house on Norton at the very moment that a leaf fell from our neighbor’s Silver Maple tree. It was a solitary leaf falling after most of the others fell, and that leaf fell in such a manner, and the wind guided it just so that the hook of the stem caught on a branch of a smaller tree at the back of our yard. Like yesterday’s ‘coincidence’, that made me sit back in wonder at how intricately woven our lives are, and how awesome is the God who orchestrates this marvelous tapestry of our lives.

Wow.

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Economic Trash Bin

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

The big news today is that someone in Winner, SD, won the PowerBall Lottery, to the tune of $232.1 Million. Wow. That’s a pile o’money. When I heard about this on the radio this morning the announcer also mentioned something about the SD Lottery Commission having posted info about where the money they took in has been spent, so I decided to have a look.

According to the “Where The Money Goes” page on the SD Lottery website, since the Lottery was first instituted in 1987, the state has netted $1.7 billion (with a ‘B”) from lottery revenues. That’s $1.7 billion that has gone into worthy programs like Property Tax Reduction ($1.3 billion) and Capital Construction ($30 million), and another $389 million in the General Fund. But that $1.7 billion in revenue comprises only 26.2% of the total of all that has been spent on the lottery; since 1987, nearly $6.6 billion has been spent by people trying to earn a quick buck.

Of that $6.6 billion, 55.4% (about $3.6 billion) has gone back out in prizes, and 5.5% ($360 million) in commission payments to retailers, which is money that has stayed in the economy, doing the work that money should do in a thriving economy. So to net that $1.7 billion, a total of about $2.5 billion was siphoned away from the economy. That’s basically an additional tax of about $162 a year for every resident of the state of South Dakota. But it’s not an efficient method of taxing, because more than a third of the money that went to the state (around $850 million) went into running the SD Lottery system. I’d say that’s a lot of overhead for tax money. And that’s just the direct cost; assessing the full societal cost for the problems that state-sponsored gambling bring on and compound is difficult, but it’s surely much, much more than that.

The SD Lottery website boasts that, “The Lottery is a totally self-funded agency. No tax dollars are used for its operation.” which is more than a bit deceiving. Because the lottery is funded through it’s own sales, and people are not required to put money into the lottery, it’s technically not a tax. But I remain unconvinced that money spent on the lottery is not a tax, and I’m not alone. Back in 1732 Henry Fielding wrote the following:

A Lottery is a Taxation,
Upon all the Fools in Creation;
And Heav’n be prais’d,
It is easily rais’d,
Credulity’s always in Fashion;
For, Folly’s a Fund,
Will never lose Ground;
While Fools are so rife in the Nation.

Since the lottery is essentially an elective tax, some taxpayers (Fielding’s fools) are hit harder than others. Our family, for example, hasn’t put one red cent into the lottery, which means that since 1987 someone else has plugged more than $17,000 into the SD Lottery system on our behalf. There are a lot of other people who have avoided the lottery, which means others have ponied up a pile of money to make up the difference; much more than their $162 a year. And the problem is the people who tend to elect to pay this tax are those who can least afford it. Taxes that put a larger burden lower income folks are generally considered ‘regressive’, aren’t they?

While I have actually benefitted from having the lottery in South Dakota, I’ve always felt that the lottery is a poor way for any government to garner income. I don’t expect the lottery to go away any time soon; since being implemented, pulling the plug on the system has been on the ballot three times, and each time a majority voted to have it continue. And that’s too bad because all those millions of dollars could be better spent strengthening the real economy of the state, not filling up the economic trash bin.

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Rush Limbaugh To Speak At Sojourners Event?

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009

I just got this by email this afternoon:

In an inspiring display of bipartisan bridge-building, talk radio personality Rush Limbaugh has accepted Jim Wallis’ invitation to deliver a keynote address at Sojourners’ Mobilization to End Poverty conference in April.

“I’ve always said the monologue of the extreme right is over, and a new dialogue has begun,” said Wallis. “Well, that dialogue is about to get a whole lot louder.”

Bipartisan bridge-building? Whatever. This was a shock to me. But then, I remembered what day it was. Wow; did I get snookered with that! Look at me, the classic April Fool.

I’ve been working on a post about the Sojourners for a while now, and I suppose this is as good an opportunity to finish it up as any. I bumped into the Sojourners a while back and subscribed to their newsletter emailing list out of curiosity. From what I’ve read in those newsletters and on their website, saying that the Sojourners politics is left of center is a gross understatement. Their mission is based on what they call ‘social justice’, and they talk a lot about ending poverty, with seemingly no qualms about employing the government to make it happen. The tone of their newsletters has been next to giddy ever since Obama won the Presidency, presumably because Sojourners sees Obama as one of their own; a leftist determined to even the score between the have’s and the have-not’s in this country through some sort of government-imposed income redistribution.

I would take issue with the Sojourners for that alone, but it doesn’t stop there; they couch their program in Christian jargon, as if Jesus’ mission for Christians was to eliminate poverty through any means possible, including confiscatory taxes on the so-called ‘wealthy’ so the wealth can be “spread around”.

And that’s what really made me wonder what was behind Rush Limbaugh speaking at their big event. Of course, it was just a gag, complete with a hacked version of Limbaugh’s CPAC “national address” from earlier this year, reworded to have Rush mouthing the words that tickle their ears.

I’ve talked about this subject before; Jesus’ primary mission while on this Earth wasn’t to feed the poor or heal the sick or make the lame whole. He was here to save all of Mankind and to bring atonement for our sins. Did he feed the poor and heal the sick and make the lame whole? Sure. But he didn’t focus on that, and neither should we. Especially if doing that involves stealing what some people have rightfully earned so that we can, as our now-President so eloquently put it, “spread the wealth around”.

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My No-Year’s Resolutions

Thursday, January 1st, 2009

Since my track record for keeping past New Year’s Resolutions has been pretty poor — I usually end up headed in the opposite direction of what I resolve to do — I thought this year I’d maybe try a little reverse psychology. Maybe I’ll actually get where I want to go.

So, I hereby resolve to…

  1. Gain weight. I’m thinking at least 40 pounds. Just more of me to love, right?
  2. Not even think about exercising. I’d resolve to quit exercising, but I can’t very well stop if I’m not doing it in the first place. Total waste of time.
  3. Read less, and I’ll hide my Bible. Quiet time? Devotions? Spiritual disciplines? Who needs them?
  4. Watch more TV. I might even break down and get cable. From what people at work talk about, I’ve been missing some good stuff.
  5. Procrastinate more. Then again, maybe I’ll wait & do that next year.
  6. Take up a new habit: Maybe drinking. And smoking would be good too. And as long as I’m at it, I’ll start hitting the casinos.
  7. Spend more time at work.
  8. Spend less time with the wife & kids. That only deepen any emotional attachment to them, which interferes with #7.
  9. Take a vacation to someplace important: like to see the largest ball of twine.
  10. Stop going home for lunch or bringing a sack lunch to work: We all need to do our part for stimulating the economy, and fast food restaurants play an important role in that, right?
  11. Quit giving money & time to charity. It’s time to let someone else develop character in that way.
  12. Sell my car and buy a mid-’70’s Camaro or Monte Carlo with a really loud stereo system, mag wheels, air shocks and wide tires in back. I’ll also need to grow a mullet to complete the image.
  13. Shower and change clothes once a week, whether I need it or not. A guy has to do his part to to reduce water usage.
  14. Cash out my 401k accounts. The markets are going nowhere fast, and just think of the fun I could have with all that money.
  15. Stay up later still every night. Think of all the late-night TV and web browsing I can get done instead of sleeping. Most days at work I feel like I’m spinning wheels anyway, so showing up half asleep shouldn’t affect a thing productivity-wise.

Well, that should pretty much do it. Here’s hoping I keep a perfect track record. Of failing to achieve what I resolve to do.

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Splattered Dreams

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

It seems that for some people, dreams are fragile things, like a glass figurine. They are very solid and tangible, but can be easily broken and destroyed — shattered. I don’t know if I’m weird or what, but I find that to be really hard to comprehend dreams like that, and there are times when I feel envious of someone who does have dreams and ambitions that are solid and tangible.

I guess people can be categorized in two groups according to their dreams & ambitions; those for whom dreams are solid & tangible, and those for whom dreams are more fluid and resilient. I would fall into the second group; my dreams would be better described as “fluid”.

I talked with an old friend a while back who is having a tough time because he’s been hurt in the process of chasing a dream he has had since childhood. He worked hard for a very long time to do what he felt he was called to do, and in the end, with the fulfillment of that dream within reach, he’s now doing something totally unrelated, and continues to nurse his wounds. I look at his situation and have a tough time putting myself in his shoes; I just can’t understand that kind of attachment to a goal, and that kind of hurt when things don’t go well.

For me, there are just so many little things I enjoy that I can’t fathom chasing after one thing in particular and banking everything the fulfillment of that one thing. Having more fluid or diversified ambitions has served me well in some respects, but in others I’d be better off with the other. To some I’m sure it appears that I lack ambition and drive — I know my boss sees it that way — and to a degree that’s probably true.

The difference comes in when bad things happen; to someone with dreams that are concrete and tangible, bad things can come along and shatter them all to bits. And those bits have sharp edges that can wound. But for me, with dreams that are more fluid and resilient, bad things can shake up my bucket of dreams, causing some to splash out, but I won’t be hurt by any of it.

Is it something of a protection mechanism to avoid being hurt? Or is it a manifestation of ADD? Or maybe something that’s come about as part of a fear of success? I don’t know, but I sometimes feel a yearning for that sense of drive… That kind of dedication.

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