Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

Today is Mother’s Day, but for the last several years I’ve felt a little left out. My mom, Celeste Agnes Green Thornton passed away almost five years ago, just one short week after Mother’s Day.

Grandma Sis

The last few years that Mom was with us were difficult; Alzheimer’s Disease stole them from us. I first realized that Mom’s condition was getting the best of her when she forgot my birthday one year, something that had never happened before. At first I was I was quite put out by that, but as I came to understand it was only part of a larger pattern of forgetting things, some important, some not so important.

For a time it seemed she’d just forget things that had happened fairly recently, but could remember vividly things that had happened decades before. She’d forget where she was going at times and get lost driving around the city in which she had lived all her life; before long she forgot the names of our kids, and finally even our names. She had moments of lucidity, but as time went on, they became increasingly rare. In the end she had forgotten everything.

Visiting Mom was difficult and unpleasant those last couple of years. The kids didn’t enjoy it any more than I did, and I finally just stopped going. That last month of her life I had plenty of warnings from my siblings that Mom was sick, but I didn’t quite grasp how serious things were, and I failed to even pay her a visit that last Mother’s Day. She wouldn’t likely have been aware of it, but that’s not the point:

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

Exodus 20:12

I missed a good teaching opportunity for my kids by neglecting that command, and set a bad example by not visiting Mom in spite of the difficulty her health condition presented. But even before that I don’t remember a time when I really showed Mom the respect she deserved, even after I became a Believer. The two of us had our difficulties & misunderstandings, and I was less than forgiving. And now it’s too late. I know that I’ve been forgiven for all that — even though I was most undeserving of forgiveness — and my sin washed away by the Blood of Christ but the impact of that will live on in my kids, and in my regrets.

So, if your mom and dad are still around, do yourself a favor; don’t neglect giving them the respect you ought. Even if it’s difficult, you owe it to them, to yourself, to your kids, and to God.

The Monkey Bars

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

How’s this for obscure… On one of the rare occasions I sat down & watched an old, old re-run of the original Knight Rider (starring David Hasselhoff and the talking early-’80’s Trans Am with the funky strobe light), I happened to spot a set of monkey bars identical to the ones we’ve got in the back yard! That is the only time I have ever seen another set like that. Ever.

Our set is a little more weather-worn than the one in the TV show, which isn’t surprising considering they’ve been sitting out in the weather for about 50 years. The bars were purchased by my parents and have been part of growing up since before I can remember. I recall hearing from someone that they were bought when my eldest sister was little, but I doubt that’s true, as that would make them 60 years old, and counting. When Mom & Dad moved from the house on Walts in 1977 I think the monkey bars went to Dick & Dawn’s house, where they stayed until Yvonne & I bought our house on Norton in 1991 or so. We’ve had them ever since, and they’ve been a fixture in our kids’ backyard playtime.

That’s Caleb, at about 18 months old, after having climbed to the top of the monkey bars. That horizontal bar near the top of his head is about 8 feet off the ground. Enough to make any mom a little nervous.

Yes, 50-plus years does a number on the paint covering the bars, and on the metal underneath. The leg ends get rustier every year, and two have broken loose. I’ve been planning to replace some metal and repaint the bars for years — I even went so far as to buy a few rattle-cans of Rustoleum for the job — but it’s the colors that have delayed me for these many years. The bars were originally painted red, yellow and green, but with the years of fading plus the coat of white paint that Dick applied over everything at some point, I’m just not sure which bar was painted what color.

And then I saw this show, Knight Rider, Season 1, Episode 6, broacast on RTN. My first thought was, “YES! I can finally nail down the colors and get it painted!” Problem was that the set was only seen in one short transition shot in the show, spanning maybe three seconds in the frame, and not very clear. I dug around online looking for the video without much luck. I finally tracked down a copy through Google Video last night; the video is actually hosted by a Japanese YouTube knock-off called YouKu.com, and even has Japanese subtitles! Too cool! (link)

But even after looking through the video frame by frame, the colors aren’t clear enough to make any solid determination. So I guess, to paint the thing accurately I’ll have to go back to my original plan to do some judicious sanding in obscure areas that have maybe been spared the fading effects of the sun & hopefully see what the original colors were. Maybe it’ll get done before it ends up as a heap of iron oxide bits in the grass. Maybe…

Do I Have To Go To Work?

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

I was listening to some talk radio last night while running some errands, and Dr. Laura came on. Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a psychologist with a call-in radio show, and is known for her sometimes hard-to-swallow advice on the problem situations people call about. I don’t listen often these days — there was a basketball game on the station I usually listen to — but find it sometimes entertaining and always interesting.

The second call she took while I was listening was from a young single mom, looking for advice on a job choice she was facing; she is currently in school and working at a coffee shop, and had an opportunity at a different job. Her toddler daughter was in daycare while she worked and was in class, and the dad wasn’t in the picture. Dr. Laura didn’t even let her describe the two jobs; she was told in no uncertain terms that her place was at home with the kid, and if she needed to work it should be at night when her daughter is sleeping. Her job at this critical time in her daughter’s life was with her daughter, being the Mom, teaching her about life, having lunch with her, playing with her… Just being a mom. Period. End of discussion. Without that, the child grows up without a mom or dad and knows nothing but being shuffled from daycare to grandma’s to home or whatever, and that can lead to far worse difficulties later on. The poor girl on the phone could say nothing but, “OK” in a resigned tone, and you could just tell that she thought that plan was totally unreasonable. Dr. Laura was coming across as the parent that this girl perhaps never had, and was not going to let this old bitty tell her what to do.

I couldn’t agree more with Dr. Laura; that girl needed to be home with her kid as much as possible. It won’t be easy for her to do, and the messages she gets from society tell her that she needs to be working.

But as I listened to Dr. Laura’s rant, I couldn’t help but think of my own kids, and how much I’ve missed… Sure, we’ve worked hard to have one of us home with the kids as much as possible, but what I wouldn’t give to have been able to be home with the kids full-time, even if it were only a year or two.

I guess that’s the older, wiser, more mature Me talking; I don’t know if I would’ve gone for it ten years ago, even if Yvonne had suggested it. I know I suggested something like that a number of times; as a nurse, Yvonne’s job has always paid more per hour than any job I’ve had, so it wouldn’t have made any difference for us financially. I still give her a hard time on occasion, asking her why it’s always me working full-time… but she’s pretty insistent on wanting to be home for the kids and to be the ‘glue’ that holds the family together. I dunno; I think I could be pretty sticky too. And I think I might know my kids a little better.

Best Laid Plans

Monday, July 28th, 2008

tiny.jpg

The movie “Meet the Robinsons” has some great lines in it, but one that comes up two or three times is, “I’m just not sure how well this plan was thought through.” The best delivery of that line is from the T-Rex, all mumbled (with subtitles, of course) with his big head, little arms comment; funny stuff.


YouTube link

What’s really noteworthy is how often this line comes to mind in everyday life… Something doesn’t go exactly as it was planned, and my first thought is “I’m just not sure how well this plan was thought through.” Though usually when I think of it, I hear it with the T-Rex’s mumbled voice. And if I’m with family, that’s how it comes out, and they know exactly what I’m talking about!

Allergies Suck

Sunday, July 13th, 2008

I hate sunflowers. It’s not how they look; it’s what their seeds do to me because of my allergies that I hate.

no sunflowers

Avoiding sunflower seeds is fairly easy, but these days food manufacturers are putting sunflower oil in everything from coffee creamer to potato chips, and it’s getting harder & harder to avoid. I was at the grocery store last night and one of the items on the shopping list was chips; I was hard pressed to find anything that didn’t have sunflower oil in the ingredient list.

Sunflower oil can be found in places you would least expect it, even in prepackaged pudding cups! I bought a pack of Hunt’s SnackPack chocolate pudding cups a while back, thinking it’d be a cheap & easy snack, but got a nasty headache after eating one. Checked the ingredients, and sure enough — sunflower oil. Often the ingredient list will contain the phrase “one of the following…” and list two or three different kinds of vegetable oil; the further down the list sunflower oil shows, the better the chance that it’s ok for me to eat, but never guaranteed so I’ll still avoid that product.

Yes, I do a lot of ingredient list reading in the grocery store aisles, but I need to proceed very carefully when I don’t see the ingredient list. I can usually tell within a couple of bites whether a product has sunflower oil — or something else — in it, and I’m usually ok if I stop after a couple of bites. But when I can’t tell right away and I eat more than that, it’s only a matter of time before I can feel my eyelids get a little puffy and the headache sets in. That’s what sucks about sunflower seeds. And other food products.

I despise peanuts and peanut oil too; that’s another thing that I really have to watch out for… It used to be that I enjoyed eating all kinds of peanut products, and peanut butter was almost a staple food for me — there’s nothing like a peanut butter & jelly sandwich with a bowl of tomato soup on a cold day (better yet, grill that PBJ! Yum!) — but not any more.

I discovered my peanut allergy one year around Christmas… I stayed up late one night in Santa-mode, wrapping presents, watching TV and eating salted-in-the-shell peanuts (readily available at the grocery during the holidays.) The next day I was crabby as all get-out. I don’t recall having a headache, but I do remember that even the smallest thing just enraged me. After that I suspected the peanuts and experimented for the next few days, watching for similar symptoms; it was definitely peanuts. I don’t know how to fully explain the Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde reaction, and neither does my doctor, but it’s more than just a little scary. The littlest things will set me off and I can fly into an almost uncontrollable rage.

The last time I remember it happening was after eating a couple of Keebler chocolate chip cookies (where I didn’t read the ingredients); later that day I found myself getting incredibly worked up over stupid little things. Now that I’ve become better able to recognize the symptoms, I can catch it before it gets too bad — taking an antihistamine tablet and some ibuprofen helps immensely. But before I figured out what was going on, I was considering counseling for my anger problem, and I’m sure my wife would’ve been more than encouraging in that.

I’m ashamed to say that it’s those who are closest to me that saw the worst of this malady; I recall times when I would scream and shout at my kids for the stupidest things, punishing them harshly for things that would normally require just a word or two of reprimand. Now that the older two are nearly grown I need to sit down with them and try to explain this to them, and hope they can understand and forgive me. And I do need to ask their forgiveness, because my rages were nearly uncontrollable; the kids would see the worst in me when I knew no one else was around to witness it, and that is what shames me most.

Stupid allergies.

Eating out can be a real crapshoot at time; there’s really no telling what kind of oil they use in their fryers or on their grill or in their recipes. And it’s not just what I eat either… The Ace Hardware store near home always has a batch of popcorn popped near the door of the store, and anybody can get a bag for whatever donation you drop in the cup. Great tasting stuff, that. But eating that popcorn seemed to trigger allergy symptoms for me, and I found that just visiting the store would give me a headache, even when I didn’t eat the stuff. One day while waiting at the checkout, I noticed the bottle of oil someone was using when starting a new batch — peanut oil. That explained a lot.

They have since put up a pathetic little laser-printed sign saying that peanut oil is used for their popcorn, but that doesn’t really help me much because just being in the store can cause a reaction. A while back I bought a canvas tool bag at that store, and it still has a the distinct smell of that store on it, so I make sure I don’t keep the bag too close for too long.

Sometimes it feels like there’s really no safe place for me in this regard; even at work… Sunflower seeds — or “spits” as many call them — are a popular at-work snack food for a lot of people, and a very messy one at that. The eaters pop them in the mouth, suck the salt from the outside, use their teeth to crack open the shell, then pull the slobbery shell out of their mouth & throw it away. When doing that while using a computer, that sunflower oil-infested slobber gets on the keyboard & mouse. A large part of my job involves desktop computer support, and there are a few users whose computers I dread working on because an allergic reaction is almost guaranteed. Makes me want to go in with a rag and cleaning spray. Maybe rubber gloves and respirator would help too.

Allergies really suck.

And the strange part is that some people don’t even believe that allergies are real; they think that it’s psychosomatic. There was a Neatorama post a while back about a kid who is allergic to almost everything, and one of the comments on that post just floored me… The guy basically said that people with peanut allergies are faking it. I scolded him for that and he softened his stance a little, but there really does seem to be this undercurrent of people — people with no allergy problems — who hold the opinion that because they don’t remember hearing about allergies years ago, they are a hypochondriac’s imagined malady. If only that were the case.

I’m still waiting for that miracle medical potion that can alleviate all allergic reactions, but I don’t think it’s coming any time soon. At this point the best I can hope for is the new body that is promised to us when Christ returns. Come quickly!

Happy Father’s Day, Dad

Saturday, June 28th, 2008

dad.jpg

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain

Dad has been gone since 1987, and there are days I miss him sorely. Like today. That quote from Twain really hits home; I never really appreciated him or his advice when he was around, and never took the opportunity to tell him how much he meant to me. He was never the kind of guy who would put his arm around one of his kids & tell them he loved them, and unfortunately that rubbed off on me to a large degree.

The funny thing (or sad thing) is that as I grow older, I remember more of what he said to me in years past. Little nuggets of wisdom dispensed by a guy with an 8th grade education. Totally dismissed by me at the time they were handed out — I was so much smarter than him — but were tucked away in long term memory for retrieval when they’re really needed.

Amazing how the human mind works.

I should probably add a few things about the photo above… Dad was born & grew up on a farm near Canton, SD. As a kid his family had only horse-drawn farm implements, and remembered clearly the time that they got their first tractor. When I was a kid, Dad bought a farm near Schindler, SD, hoping that we as a family would move there; the problem was that he hadn’t consulted Mom about it, and she wouldn’t have any of it. So Dad kept the place as a hobby farm, keeping some sheep, pigs, chickens, horses, and an occasional cow. The livestock & crops did bring in a little extra money, but with nine kids at home, Dad didn’t have a lot of money for equipment, so he would buy what he needed at auction sales. He was always on the lookout for old horse-drawn equipment, and was usually able to pick things up for a song.

The farm was always a point of contention between Mom & Dad, and finally in the late ’70’s he traded the property by Schindler for 40 acres near Hartford, built a new house, and we moved there. Mom wasn’t thrilled with that idea either — she wanted to live in Sioux Falls — but went along with it. She ended up hating it though, and when Mamma ain’t happy… But that’s another story for another time.

All his life Dad had a wish to farm as he did when he was young, with horses, and when he retired in 1981, he finally set to work to do that. I think it was in 1983 that he had it all together and actually did it. Earlier that year I had bought a decent 35mm SLR camera — a Canon T70 — and Dad asked me if I’d take some photos of him doing some cultivating, and that’s where the photo came from. The funny thing is that the cultivating showed him that there was a reason horses were replaced by tractors — it’s a lot of work! — and he had the corn harvested by a combine that fall.

I gave the photos to him after they were developed, he put them in a little album and carried them around to any and all family get-togethers, showing them to anybody who’d give him the time. But the negatives… Lord only knows where they ended up. I think I gave them to him with the photos, not realizing how important they’d become to me and the rest of the family, and now they’re nowhere to be found. So when I ended up with the original photos (in Dad’s little album) after he died, I scanned them in and did some Photoshopping on them. Not the greatest quality work, but the prints that I made from those doctored scans were a pretty popular item with the family. Dad was doing that day something that made him truly happy, and it’s good to have those photos to remember him by.

Automania 2008 Is On For Tonight!

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

Yes! The Night of the Hot Rods has finally arrived!

Automania is tonight, June 18, 2008. The weather forecast looks excellent, so you can bet that I’ll be there, dragging the boys around (or maybe the other way round) snapping pictures of everything they’re not interested in. They’ll likely be gawking at the shiny Ferraris, Lamborginis and Mustangs while I’m looking at the rat rods and classics. No matter; it’ll be fun.

Last year I snapped a few photos of the marvelous rig, It’s Five-O’Clock Somewhere, and posted them on this site. Neatorama picked it up and posted on it; from there it got linked all over the place. Not sure if the Bortschellers will be back this year or not, but I’ll be sure to shake his hand if he is.

This year Tommy James and The Shondells will be playing… I’ve already got Crimson & Clover running through my head!

Honor and Shame

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

aslan.jpg

The family and I went to see Prince Caspian on opening night a couple weeks back, and we were all a little disappointed in the movie’s departure from the original story. My better half read the Narnia Chronicles to the kids when they were younger, and the older ones have read the books numerous times. We also listen to the excellent Focus on the Family Radio Theater versions of the stories to pass the time on road trips, so you can say that we know them pretty well. Inside and out would be a good description.

A week or so ago we pulled the Prince Caspian CD out for a drive to Grandma & Grandpa and listened to it again, just for a closer look at what the differences were between the movie and the Radio Theater version (which follows the book pretty closely.) While listening, one of the lines hit me hard; near the end, Aslan is preparing to send the Telmarines back to their original home, and tells them where they originally came from — the Telmarines descended from pirates who stumbled through a gateway between our world and Telmar. This was unsettling to Caspian, and that made him wish he “came from a more honorable lineage.” To that, Aslan replied,

You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve. And that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content.

How very, very profound. We, like Adam, are made in God’s image, set apart from all creation by God’s incredible gift. Yet we stumble and fall and dishonor ourselves all too readily. Shame and honor.

The Plywood Bike

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

The boys and I are still planning on building a rowbike of some kind — at least I am, but they’re getting a little impatient wondering when we’re going to get started. I’ve been trying to source cheap/free frame materials and trying to figure out in my head how to construct the thing, and think I’ve come upon an idea that will finally get this project rolling… build the frame out of plywood.

plywood_bike.jpg

Plywood construction in bikes isn’t a new idea at all; I found plenty of links online from people who have gone through similar projects, apparently with a decent level of success. This site is a build diary of sorts where a number of students built recumbents using a laminated plywood & foam sandwich construction… Very cool.

One other site I found that’s worth mentioning is the manytracks.com Woody Project. There he took stock bike parts, made some modifications to them, built a frame from lumber & plywood, and it looks like it’d work.

I really like the plywood/foam sandwich construction for the rowbike concept because you don’t have the twisting that happens on a pedal bike in the area of the bottom bracket; all the torque in a rowbike is linear. Sounds like a match made in heaven for a guy with few welding skills and less welding equipment, but wields a pretty mean scroll saw.

That same group also built recumbent bikes using carbon fiber a couple of years later; perhaps that’ll be our next garage project…

“What Do You Want For Christmas?”

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

Who, me? Oh, not much. I’m very easy to please. Here’s a list…

  • a two-car garage,
  • a couple of vehicles that don’t have acres of rust on them,
  • a MIG welder, drill press and milling machine,
  • unlimited funds and sufficient time to finish some of the unfinished projects around the house,
  • 40 pounds off my midsection,
  • a new MacBook Pro,
  • a new job,
  • hair like I had twenty years ago,
  • a river-side acreage somewhere near Sioux Falls,
  • time to read and write the way I’d like to,
  • a set of bagpipes and lessons,
  • cello lessons,
  • etc…
  • See? I really am easy to please. But man, do I hate hearing that question. Yes, there are some things I’d like to receive as gifts for Christmas, but generally when I really need something, I buy it for myself. Likewise if I really want something that isn’t too costly; for the costlier items, I bide my time for a windfall of some sort (and permission from the wife) before I buy. But the things that I’d like to have that I don’t purchase myself are also too costly to ask someone else to buy for me. Hence the reluctance to answer that question.

    Every year for Christmas with Yvonne’s family we draw names and give gifts that way, and every year I get that question, and every year I have a tough time with it. I don’t want to throw out costly suggestions and possibly oblige someone to fork out a lot of money on me (although it would be nice), but then again the last thing I need is more stuff; clutter is already an issue around our house.

    My family dispensed with the gift buying/giving/returning thing at our usually annual Thanks-Mas events years ago, and went to a White Elephant Gift Exchange. That has been a blast, with lots of gaudy not so favorites making repeat appearances year after year. I wish we could do that with Yvonne’s family too, but old traditions are hard to change.

    One other hesitation I have about the whole White Elephant thing is that it mocks Christmas in a way; the whole gift giving thing is supposedly to honor the Greatest Gift of All, Jesus Christ, who was God’s gift to us. So does giving a known rotten gift mock that tradition? I dunno; haven’t quite made up my mind on that. What I do know is that the White Elephant is a lot of fun, doesn’t require anyone to spend a ton of money, and doesn’t (always) add more stuff to my house.

    I wrote a while back about the World Vision Gift Catalog; actually, if someone is going to spend money on a gift for me, I’d actually rather have them spend it there rather than on me. Or if they really want to give me something, how about dinner with them. Doesn’t need to be anything fancy; just any old thing at your house or my house, along with an evening to converse & catch up.

    That’s not asking too much, is it?