I was listening to some talk radio last night while running some errands, and Dr. Laura came on. Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a psychologist with a call-in radio show, and is known for her sometimes hard-to-swallow advice on the problem situations people call about. I don’t listen often these days — there was a basketball game on the station I usually listen to — but find it sometimes entertaining and always interesting.
The second call she took while I was listening was from a young single mom, looking for advice on a job choice she was facing; she is currently in school and working at a coffee shop, and had an opportunity at a different job. Her toddler daughter was in daycare while she worked and was in class, and the dad wasn’t in the picture. Dr. Laura didn’t even let her describe the two jobs; she was told in no uncertain terms that her place was at home with the kid, and if she needed to work it should be at night when her daughter is sleeping. Her job at this critical time in her daughter’s life was with her daughter, being the Mom, teaching her about life, having lunch with her, playing with her… Just being a mom. Period. End of discussion. Without that, the child grows up without a mom or dad and knows nothing but being shuffled from daycare to grandma’s to home or whatever, and that can lead to far worse difficulties later on. The poor girl on the phone could say nothing but, “OK” in a resigned tone, and you could just tell that she thought that plan was totally unreasonable. Dr. Laura was coming across as the parent that this girl perhaps never had, and was not going to let this old bitty tell her what to do.
I couldn’t agree more with Dr. Laura; that girl needed to be home with her kid as much as possible. It won’t be easy for her to do, and the messages she gets from society tell her that she needs to be working.
But as I listened to Dr. Laura’s rant, I couldn’t help but think of my own kids, and how much I’ve missed… Sure, we’ve worked hard to have one of us home with the kids as much as possible, but what I wouldn’t give to have been able to be home with the kids full-time, even if it were only a year or two.
I guess that’s the older, wiser, more mature Me talking; I don’t know if I would’ve gone for it ten years ago, even if Yvonne had suggested it. I know I suggested something like that a number of times; as a nurse, Yvonne’s job has always paid more per hour than any job I’ve had, so it wouldn’t have made any difference for us financially. I still give her a hard time on occasion, asking her why it’s always me working full-time… but she’s pretty insistent on wanting to be home for the kids and to be the ‘glue’ that holds the family together. I dunno; I think I could be pretty sticky too. And I think I might know my kids a little better.